Bad Ass Frank. Sex. Comedy. Blogs. Hot Girls. Internet Television.

Casting reality shows is more fun than retards playing with glue sticks. While many people are crunching numbers, preparing briefs, or performing some other inane task all day, I’m out looking for this:

Kristia from VH1’s Rock of Love

I’ve just started a new gig with my lovely friend, That Leyna Chick. She and I spend our time seeking out interesting people who fit the criteria for whatever show we’re currently casting. We’re not always assigned the task of finding hot chicks like Kristia, but it’s still a decent job. Granted, it’s a far better time when the producer says, “Find me some beautiful babes,” but hey, you can’t always get what you want.

I want those please.

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This is an excerpt from Chapter 4 of my upcoming book, Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy. (Click for more info)

Chapter 4 - A Fucking Foundation

When I made the actual decision to start an agency, I deemed myself an adult talent manager, not a porn agent. There were a number of reasons for this, the most important being that is sounded infinitely less skeezy. Since I didn’t consider myself a lowly “porn person”, I needed to maintain a certain level of non-skeeziness (Good job on that you pimp/whore). Secondly, I planned to offer more services than a standard agent in the adult industry. I was going to help my girls build their careers in a professional manner by getting them publicity, mainstream appearances, and Roth IRA’s. Other agents in the business seemed to care about nothing but making as much money off of the girls as possible in the shortest period of time. I, on the other hand, was going to help them build career longevity, so that they could progress from barely legal schoolgirls to proud MILFS, gathering fame, fortune and the minimum of yeast infections along way! In order to really get started, I needed a little more than one girl and a handful of delusions. I needed a number of girls, a contact list of directors, and even more delusions. Resourceful fella that I am, all three of the necessary items were easily acquired.

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Name: Tareva
Age: 21
Height: 5′4″
Status: Single
Home: California

Tareva was just 20 years old when she walked into the Bad Ass Frank Show television studio and was quickly accosted by the host (me). After a few minutes of ignoring my comments, she got into model mode and put her fine ass all over my face, er, desk. Welcome to the Bad Ass Girls Club.

Photos courtesy of J3 Photo.

Sometimes I like to reach out to my readers and see what we have in common. So, in the interest of finding out how similar we are, or aren’t, how many of you shave your balls?

If any of you ladies can answer that question, you’re a dude. If you have balls, you’re a man, regardless of how you “feel” on the inside. I feel tall but that doesn’t make it true. If I’m short because I lack height, you’re a guy because you possess junk. Don’t argue with the facts, jack (off).

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This is a recap of my first LIVE blog from election night 08, Obama’s acceptance speech. With live blogging you can see my commentary as I post it and offer up your own opinions which I may include in my blog. Join me for special live blogging events which will be posted on the Live Blog Page of the site.

It’s time to paint the White House black.

Bring a little colored to politics.

Make the term, “Head Nigga In Charge” a bit more literal.

Love Obama like you love yo mama.

Chocolate City is ready for some juicy booty. Would you rather have this:

or this:

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I get a lot of big ideas about things I’m going to do, but I often lose interest in doing those things before I actually do them. Halloween is a prime example. In past years, I’ve gone to Bondage Ball with a group of friends who enjoy the BDSM lifestyle. It’s always a spectacle with people donning elaborate fetish costumes, interesting performers, and chicks getting spanked. As far as I’m concerned, you could get rid of the costumes and the performers and I’d still attend, just to see the chicks getting spanked. However, after a few years of that, I quickly realized that I could avoid driving to Hollywood, paying an exorbitant amount for parking, and having to socialize with the unwashed masses, if I just stayed home and spanked a girl there.

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What if these two chicks wanted to get married?

I know pronounce you, Kristy Joe and Aubry from VH1’s Rock of Love.

If you denied them that right I’d have to beat you down and call you a fag. Because if those two girls want to get betrothed and make sweet sweet love on their wedding night, neither you or I should prevent that beautiful union. It’s really none of our business unless, of course, they want me to jump out of their wedding cake, smear icing on them both, then have a double reverse wife swap. I swap her wife for her wife, and then I switch back. It wouldn’t be the first time I got laid at a wedding but it would be the first time I banged the bride, er, brides. So you motherfuckers go Vote NO on Prop 8 or I’ll kill you. Do you understand me? I will fucking murder you until your dead then I will kill you some more if you don’t.

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