Bad Ass Frank – True Life Stories, Internet Radio, Comedy, Satire

I’m at a Border’s in Germantown, MD. Why, you ask yourself, would BAF be at a Border’s in Germantown, MD? Trust me, BAF asks BAF’s self the exact same question. And the answer is…
I was born.
More accurately, I was born in Maryland. Bethesda, actually, which is considerably more cosmopolitan than Germantown. But, as often happens [...]

Should I lose weight?
Should I save money?
Should I floss more frequently?
Should I stop farting in crowded elevators?
Developing a list of resolutions is so very difficult. I mean, I want to utilize the first day of the year as my catalyst for self improvement. Otherwise, what’s the use of beginning a new calendar? I don’t drink, [...]

Once upon a time, I weighed 220 pounds. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a big lard ass. I was, other than a layer of sodium bloat, solid muscle. Now, to give you a frame of reference for how big I was at that weight, I currently weigh about 170. I’m not skinny, but I’m [...]

Rarely is there a new toy that I really like to play with, unless she’s 19 years old and has a nice ass. But on occasion, someone invents something that’s NOT a barely legal schoolgirl, and yet it still tickles my fancy (as opposed to my testicles). A few weeks ago, someone turned me on [...]

with my hair.
This is nothing new. I’ve had issues with my hair since I was 12, maybe younger. As a boy I had beautiful, straight blonde hair that was generally cut in a stylish bowl shape. I had a specific stylist that I used who held the honor of manning the chair nearest the window [...]

I saw ‘The Departed’ this weekend and almost everyone in the entire film took lead in the head. Typically, visuals like that might startle me or make me cringe. But in this particular instance, every time someone’s skull got popped, I laughed. Do I suffer from anger issues? Do I have violent tendencies? Am I [...]

How many drinks does it take to get to the center of a Bad Ass pop?
One.
Two.
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug……
18 months. I’ve been sober 18 months. Well, it’s actually 18 months and 4 days, as of today. And it feels pretty fucking good. Cuz I’m not built to drink. Or rather, I AM built [...]

A few years ago I got a call from my friend Steve. He and I had gone to high school together in Maryland and still kept in touch even when I moved to CA. He’s telling me about this girl he’s dating and how hot the sex is with her. I’m very excited for him [...]