Bad Ass Frank – True Life Stories, Internet television, Comedy, Satire

If you read my last blog, Bodybuilding Days Part 2 – Big Legs, you know I started my bodybuilding career by winning the Teenage Mr. Maryland. Understand, however, that I didn’t just wake up one day with huge legs, massive pecs, streaks of fake tan, and horribly half-dyed blonde hair. A great deal of work [...]

See, my friend Chris got himself an apartment in Georgetown (downtown D.C.) just after high school. It was a pimpin little studio right near all the cool G-town bars. Every Friday night I’d head down and spend the weekend getting hammered and trying to pick up girls. The key word being “trying”. Actually, the key [...]

In an effort to redeem myself after the whiny-girlie-bitchblog about Mike moving, I’m going to move along to another topic that’s near and dear to my heart, sacred to my soul, uplifting to my life…
Blow jobs.
Typically I don’t write about sex. I mean, everyone does that, right? It’s kind of a throw away topic. Like [...]

So, my close personal friend, we’ll call her “Angel” (but only cuz her real name is Angela and I want to protect her identity), calls me and asks for a ride to the Pleasure Chest. She’s in desperate need of some sex toys. I can understand those who have an affinity for sex toys or [...]

Or should it be blind shrimp and bad date. Seriously, the shrimps little heads were cut off so technically they’re blind, right? And I wanted to cut my fucking head off during the date. Either way, both sucked ass. Speaking of ass, the next paragraph is going to mention shitting more than once. If that [...]

The first rule of Fight Club is…You do not try to fight the entire club all at once.
Clearly, I don’t follow rules very well.
It was New Years Eve either in 1995 or 1996, I can’t recall. Or I’m just trying to block out the trauma of the night. Who knows? I’m out with Big Kev [...]

The Bad Ass Frank Show Version 2.0. A tighter format, a higher resolution video (larger size too), plus it’s HOTTER and FUNNIER than ever. This weeks guest is hottie pop singer Chelsea E. straight outta well, some Asian country. BAF grills her on the finer points of music, Asian culture, and eating puppies. Not only [...]

Continued from a previous blog. If you haven’t read it, do. It’s the beginning of this story: The Bodybuilding Days Part 1- The Quest for Huge
So I work out for a few weeks at the YMCA. I do not, as I’d hoped, get massively huge. I spend much of my time there fearing Sloth and [...]

Breaking up is, hard to do.
I wish you’d die, oh yes that is true.
Don’t stay, cuz this is the end.
Instead of making up I’m happy we are breaking up again.
Ah, a love song I’ve sung so many times before. How do I stop loving thee? Let me count the ways.
I’m bored.
I’ve over you.
I was drunk [...]

Back in the day, when I was fucking my way through the internet, I met quite a variety of people. You may have read some of my previous entries in the I Fucked The Internet series.
This particular entry is a bit different because I did not write it. At least not all of it. Seems [...]