Archive for April, 2009

Like An Out Of Work School Teacher. No Class. »

I believe the children are our future.
Teach them well and let them lead the way.
Show them all the booty they possess inside.
Give them a special ride.

I love that song. Whitney Houston always spoke to me with her profound lyrics and crack inspired performances. A true artist.
As the Whitster was inspired by a bastardized, [...]

4 Years, No Beers – The Alcoholic Chronicles »

Four years and a few days ago I woke up with what would be the last hangover I’d ever have. Trust me, I’ve had more than my fair share. I’ve had more than your fair share. I don’t miss them. Another thing I don’t miss is the blackouts. I’ve had a considerable number of those [...]

Date This – The Second Amendment »

Let’s cut to the chase. I am a highly sought after specimen of incredible manliness and ladies love/lust/worship me. However, I am unable to take a bride because, well, chicks are sucky. And I don’t mean the good “sucky-fucky me love you long time” kind. I just mean lame. In order for you to fully [...]