In the immortal words of Eminem, “We can scream ‘I just don’t give a fuck’ and see who means it.

Seriously, I’ve lost my shit. I used to care about what other people thought, worried about whether or not they loved me, and fed my fragile ego with the one thing that could sustain it’s voracious appetite…tasty vagina (and Baked Alasshole). But after years of searching for myself between the legs of every girl in Los Angeles (I was not there, nor was any pirate treasure), I had an epiphany. Your pussy can’t make me love myself. As a result of this discovery, I began to love myself. So much, in fact, that I gave myself what I thought myself deserved…more pussy. I mean, some people are difficult to shop for but really, can one ever have enough snatch?

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. Fact of the matter is, the gloves have come off, I’m throwing caution to the wind, I’m going balls deep in your mom, and whoever doesn’t like it can suck my dick. Actually, whoever does like it can also suck my dick. Blow jobs from everyone! Well, as long as you’re not a dude. Sorry gays, I didn’t have that kind of epiphany.

I pride myself on honesty and full disclosure, at least to an extent. I often didn’t apply either of those when discussing other people, but I did when it came to me. Admitting that a girl stuck her finger in your ass, or that you banged a giant fat girl, isn’t the easiest thing to do. It can be emotionally (and physically) traumatizing. But I did it, not only for myself, but for you, because I wanted you to love me. Because nothing screams love like a dude with a pinky jammed in his butt and a heifer sitting on his face.

I’m fucking adorable.

What I’m doing is summed up by this quote:

Risk more than others think is safe.
Care more than others think is wise.
Dream more than others think is practical.
Expect more than others think is possible.
–Cadet Maxim, USMA, West Point

The only thing I might add to that, to make it slightly more apropos is “crush a lot of ass and talk mad shit” (poetic, I know). Cuz one thing is certain and it’s that a man has got to know his limitations.

Especially if he has none.

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For the blogs referenced in this entry check out:

I Fucked The Internet 6 – You Know Where You Can Stick That
and
She Ain’t Heavy, She’s My Lover