Bad Ass Frank – True Life Stories, Internet television, Comedy, Satire

I believe the children are our future.
Teach them well and let them lead the way.
Show them all the booty they possess inside.
Give them a special ride.

I love that song. Whitney Houston always spoke to me with her profound lyrics and crack inspired performances. A true artist.
As the Whitster was inspired by a bastardized, [...]

If you’ve read my previous blog, One Foot Over The Line, you understand my feelings on feet and foot fetishes. If you’ve watched the accompanying video, you know that I’ve garnered some attention from within the freaky foot fetish world. If you haven’t read that blog, or seen the video (it’s embedded in the blog), [...]

These comments and emails are direct from my Myspace page.
This week I posted two brilliant blogs so that you, the reader, could learn some very important things about me. If you have not read them yet, I forgive you for being lame as fuck, but only if you remedy the situation and read them now. [...]

I love a nice swell.

Granted, I don’t surf, but what’s that got to do with anything? I still enjoy the ocean. I still enjoy the waves. I still enjoy a girl with a hot ass. I don’t think I should be judged on my lack of surfing ability.
This weekend rocked. After a long week of [...]

A great deal of time and effort (about 4 minutes total) went into developing my list of new year’s resolutions. And after much thinking (napping), consulting with my advisors (I have no advisors), and determining my most important goals (none of these matter), I finally locked in my top to-do’s for 2009.

My issues with young chicks [...]

As I swirl 2008 around in a snifter, raise it to my nose to enjoy the bouquet, then slowly pour it into my mouth and let it tantalize my tastebuds, I think to myself that this was a good year right down to the very end.

Lots of cool shit happened this year but the best, [...]

In a discussion with my friend Joni, possessor of class, intellect, and a pair of the finest breasts I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, she wondered what breakdown of character traits constituted a potentially good dating prospect. My initial thought was “50% great tits, 50% swallows”, which seemed reasonable.

Joni doesn’t want you making [...]

In addition to working on my book, blogging, hosting my internet show, and casting reality television, I occasionally dabble in side projects. And by “side projects” I mean “vaginas”. However, this dabbling is not that sort. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m against dabbling in Kristia…wait, stop getting me sidetracked. What was I [...]

I love Los Angeles. Ever since I moved here from Maryland, I’ve had a sick life. Well, maybe not the first two years, while I was still married, but since then it’s been a ride unlike anything I could have imagined. I won’t go into great detail, but I’ve banged more chicks than most people [...]

‘Interview with the Vampire’ was awesome. ‘Lost Boys’ is a classic. I wouldn’t see ‘Twilight’ if you paid me. I’d rather see ‘Four Christmases’ and that’s a 2009 holiday rental waiting to happen. ‘Twilight’ look like a fucking episode of ‘One Tree Hill’ with vampires. It’s obviously going to be a huge hit with teenage girls, [...]