Bad Ass Frank – True Life Stories, Internet television, Comedy, Satire

My fans, audience, readers, friends…whatever you want to call em, I love them every one. Doesn’t matter to me if they’re tall, short, skinny, fat, old, young, male, or female. I don’t care if they’re Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, Wiccans, Scientologists, or the non-delusional version, Atheists. Makes no matter whether they might be White, Black, [...]

Yesterday I posted a status update, on both Myspace and Facebook, that said I was very proud of winning the Oscar for Best Status Update, and that I wanted to thank my mom for losing her virginity, god for not existing, and girls for having vaginas. Within the hour I got a bunch of shitty [...]

This past weekend, a gorgeous lady friend of mine who removes her clothes in exchange for currency, told me about a song called “A Lapdance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying”, by The Bloodhound Gang. I almost shit myself laughing one, because that’s funny and two, because I like to make chicks [...]

In last weeks blog detailing my New Year’s Resolutions, I posted the following:
“I will not date, commit to, or become involved with any girl that does not pass a thorough psychiatric evaluation, a stringent screening process, and who believes that the only thing more satisfying than not speaking at all, is not being able to speak because she’s [...]

A great deal of time and effort (about 4 minutes total) went into developing my list of new year’s resolutions. And after much thinking (napping), consulting with my advisors (I have no advisors), and determining my most important goals (none of these matter), I finally locked in my top to-do’s for 2009.

My issues with young chicks [...]

There are so many things to be thankful for this holiday season: friends, loved ones, the economy, fat people, dollar store pop-up cardboard turkeys, the emo-fag movie Twilight, and cans of jellied cranberry sauce. It’s the season to come together, remember what we have, and try to appreciate it. Because if you don’t appreciate candied [...]

I’ve chewed here for years.
Rocking veneers,
Keeping your teeth in fear.
If you’ve been following the saga of my dental adventures of late, you’ll know what you’re getting into here. If not, I strongly suggest you read both:
Teeth Don’t Fail Me Now!
and
Teeth Don’t Fail Me Now! The Pictures!
Those will bring you up to speed and allow you [...]

Allrighty then…if you’ve read my last blog, Teeth Don’t Fail Me Now!, you’ll understand the significance of this particular blog. If you haven’t, go read that first, then come back to this one. Seriously, don’t be a retard. Do as you’re told.
That said, the story in that blog left off at my visit to Dr. [...]

I’m at a Mexican restuarant with my girlfriend and another couple. Both of the girls are super hot and we’re all dressed nicely. After dinner we’ve got tickets to Quidam, one of the traveling Cirque du Soleil shows. It’s the first time one of those shows is in the Washington DC area and I’m overwhelmed [...]

I’m sitting at Jamba Juice yesterday, a freshly blended Nike Protein Performance Shake, with extra shots of both protein and energy boosts, in hand. I’ve got my laptop case on the table in front of me along with a copy of “Possible Side Effects” by Augusten Burroughs. This was my second location, having just come [...]