It’s Da Baldies
By Bad Ass Frank on Nov 6, 2008 in A Diary of a Bad Ass, Featured
Sometimes I like to reach out to my readers and see what we have in common. So, in the interest of finding out how similar we are, or aren’t, how many of you shave your balls?
If any of you ladies can answer that question, you’re a dude. If you have balls, you’re a man, regardless of how you “feel” on the inside. I feel tall but that doesn’t make it true. If I’m short because I lack height, you’re a guy because you possess junk. Don’t argue with the facts, jack (off).
As for you fellas that know you’re male, who’s with me on a nice smooth sack? I haven’t always shaved the jewels but I’ve always been a fan of hairlessness. When I was eighteen I started competing in bodybuilding and, for competition, we had to be shorn. From the first time I balded my body, I loved the feel of it. They say that the ancient Egyptians used to equate hairlessness with cleanliness, and cleanliness with godliness. Does my love of shaving my person come from my God complex, or vice versa? Either way, I agree with the Pharoahs cuz I feel much cleaner when I’m fuzz free. Because I’m no longer bodybuilding I’m not as fanatical as I once was with it. For the chest and legs, I mostly just use clippers to buzz it down to skin level, but you can still see the hair. I don’t have an excessively hairy back, but I do get some of those big crazy Grundle-fly things here and there which need to be hacked off periodically. I shave the arms and nads weekly. The arms because they’re heavily tattooed, and I like the way they look when smooth. I didn’t spend countless hours (and dollars) under that fucking needle to grow a forest over the artwork. The colors pop when I run the razor over my ink.
The balls, however, are different.
I shave the testicles for two reasons. The first is general grooming. I like when a girl shaves her bush, totally and completely. I like the way it looks, and the way it feels to the touch. If I go south with the mouth, I like the clean landscape. Nothing makes me want to stop the cunnilingus faster than a ZZ Top beard all up in my grill.
You don’t eat a chicken without plucking it first.
Since I prefer the smooth snatch, I try to reciprocate and offer my smoothness in return. I don’t, however, blaze the entire region, although I would if requested. Rest assured that it’s trimmed to within an inch of it’s life. So when a chick dives head first into sword swallowing, she doesn’t get a nose full of pubes. And if she tongues the boys, she doesn’t feel like she’s licking a tennis ball or worse, sweaty ball hair. Ladies, if any of you out there like pubes in your nose, or sweaty ball hair, you’re fucking gross. But who am I to judge? From here forward I’ll shave right after I go for a run and save it for you in a ziploc baggy. Send me your address.
The other, more important, reason for me to go bald in the balls, is that I love the way it feels. Whether I’m mastering my own manhood or a young lady (and I stress the word young. Old chicks stay away from my nads) is tasting of the BAF staff, I like the direct access to the nerve endings that shaving affords. It feels glorious.
Incidentally, I also shave what little hair grows on my stalk as well as a nice peice of the surrounding landscape. It makes the area very accessible, pleasant to look at, and nice to put in your oral cavity. Girls, if your man doesn’t shave, ask him to give it a shot so you can experience the beauty of male testicular baldness. If he refuses, or you don’t have a man, I’ll be happy to let you try mine, just for the sake of scientific investigation. Basically I’m saying that I’m kind, giving, and willing to let you lick my balls. I’m a philanthropist.
I only offer up this information because I did, in fact, shave my sack this morning and that picture you see is, in fact, of my right testicle. Enjoy the rest of your day and on into your weekend. I hope you have a ball.
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If you want something to help get the visual of my shaved nad out of your mind, don’t forget to check out the excerpts from my upcoming book on my time as a talent manager for pornstars, Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy. There are three great excerpts posted there and a brand new one coming next week.
Nice ballsac shot. You should share more!
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Bad Ass Frank Reply:
November 6th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
How did I know that the only comment I’d get would be from a gay dude. Chee-rist.
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tommy Reply:
November 14th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
frank u have nice balls
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Freyja Reply:
November 8th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
I have to agree with you, hairless is cleanliness! I love it! Besides, I wasn’t around for Woodstock nor do I want to see it balls deep! I am also a shaver & nothings hotter than being slippery, wet & smooth.
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Casey | Nov 6, 2008 | Reply
It is really nice. They are always so smooth and soft after a good shave. I use Veet myself…..not a fan of the razors too close to my lady parts.
I agree with gay dude, you should share more! ;D
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Bad Ass Frank Reply:
November 6th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I’m just happy a chick made a comment and saved my silky smooth manhood!
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That Kelli Girl | Nov 6, 2008 | Reply
I am glad that you as a STR8 man are so considerate of your lady friends and I must say that although no body builder I still enjoy hair free feel and hate body hair. Oh yeah thanks for sharing a picture and I agree with the previous 2 comments SHOW MORE I feel there are others who like me would pay to see more. I may never have the actual experience I can imagine. Sorry Frank hope not making you UN-easy.
Cheers!!!!
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Bad Ass Frank Reply:
November 6th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
How much are we talking? I could use a few bucks.
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Rainbowman | Nov 6, 2008 | Reply
i think its sexy that a man shaves his balls theres nothin like a girl givig a guy a blowjob and you get hair in your mouth yuck…. so in the response of all that its hot that way you can really give the guy the blowjob of his life, my husband shaves and id have it no other way
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Bad Ass Frank Reply:
November 7th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Precisely!
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sheree | Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Are you sure you’re not Asian? Small penis, shaved balls. Sounds like an Asian transvestite prostitute to me.
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Bad Ass Frank Reply:
November 7th, 2008 at 9:03 am
I’m horrible at math so, no.
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Webmaster Joe | Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
I can’t friggin believe I read a blog about your HAIRLESS BALLZ!
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Bad Ass Frank Reply:
November 7th, 2008 at 11:41 am
I know! It’s like a dream come true isn’t it?
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Rob | Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
Hey Frank, this is Sara, Mike’s GF. I love your ballbag. its nice n shiny smooth. Tea anyone?
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Bad Ass Frank Reply:
November 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Weird. Now both you AND Mike are on my nutsack.
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Sara | Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
You should post more pics up!
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Dan | Nov 7, 2008 | Reply
I like to not shave but use hair removal cream…mainly cos the slap it on wipe it off way of it is soo much easier than shaving…im a guy therefore looking for the laziest option!
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ambyglam | Nov 14, 2008 | Reply
I too bling up the marble pouch. It is simple reciprocity, I don’t want (as Frank so eloquently put) a ZZ Top beard all up in my grill either.
As for the “Show me more” crowd, to them I say, Frank’s cock nugget (singular) looks like it is a still from a surgical procedure on TLC.
No offense Frank, I just got “Oh man, I really didnt need to see it to take your word for it” feeling. It’s similar to the fuzzy feeling you get the first time you see Vag stretched to the extraordinary lengths of a babies cranium. Sounded like a good idea, wasnt as “fun” as you had imagined it, and in the end, you wish you had spared yourself.
Now I see how Chris Cooley (a Redskins TE), could “accidently” post his marble sack on his preferred facepage. I took ESPN’s word for that one and Frank, your word would have been good enough as well.
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Charm City Chris | Nov 14, 2008 | Reply
Goodness, I looked at the pic before I read the post and was all geared up to find out what the heck Dr. Phil was doing rolling around in a crawlspace. ‘Cause that’s what the picture looked like until I read the accompanying text. My goodness, trying to figure out what these close-up pics are all about is almost as hard as deciphering a Sudoku puzzle.
Now if I might… I would sincerely suggest a studded black leather cock ring to wrap around your shaved scrote… not only will it show off your eggs (and give us legally blind people a clue about what we’re checking out), but it will act almost like a Victoria’s Secret push-up bra for your balls…. yes, it will pull them out and push them up. Hear me now, and believe me later.
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Reverend Ramona | Nov 26, 2008 | Reply