It’s been a crazy busy couple of weeks. So busy, in fact, that I am almost three episodes behind on ‘So You Think You Can Dance’. At this point, I have no idea who’s still on TV doing the friggin Cha Cha, and who’s been relegated to giving lessons to the elderly at Arthur Murray Dance School. I know that Will is gonna win, they’ve been on his nuts since the first day. I still have to see if my boys Twitch and Joshua are in there. They should put them all in serapes and have them do a dance version of The Three Anegros, er, Amigos. I don’t recall the name of the Asian chick, but she’s hot. Not that she’s really hot, but her dancing makes her hot. As for the little blonde, Chelsea, I love her. I want to have her babies. Her little, blonde, hard-bodied, thick-legged babies. Chelsea, come to daddy.

I’ve been working on casting a show for Fox Reality called Solitary 3.0. If you watch The BAF Show, you’ll know that Phu Pham, winner of last season of Solitary, was a guest of mine. It’s an great show actually, and I was a fan before I got this gig, which is extra cool. We (meaning my big-breasted friend, That Leyna Chick and myself) have seen over a hundred applicants in person, plus a ton of online and mail submissions. The upcoming cast is going to be awesome, but some of the freaks that came in to interview made me scared for humanity. There should be a law that, after someone is interviewed for a reality show, if they’re too crazy for TV, we immediately send them to a fucking asylum. I’ve got a list to lock up right here.

Over the weekend I was at the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life, where I was the team recruitment chairman. Jenna Von Co-Host was my co-chair, Leyna was the event chair, and many of my other friends participated on teams. All told, the 24-hour event raised over $97,000 for the ACS. That’s retarded money yo, almost enough to pay off my credit cards. The Relay was amazing and I encourage everybody to find one in their area and check it out sometime. Nothing is as fulfilling as spending 24 straight hours staggering around a field in the sweltering heat, nodding off like a heroin junkie in an alley from sheer exhaustion, while wearing a goofy red shirt (not my color), and trying to find a cure for cancer. Seriously, it was wonderful. Celebrate. Remember. Fight Back. www.relayforlife.org

Oh, and if you’re keeping up with my so-called dating exploits, here’s an update. I’m still celibate but that’s about to come to an end, possibly tonight. I’ve been talking to a few people from my past, a few new people and, for the first time since I can recall, someone from Myspace who I’m now communicating with in ‘real life’.