Some girls like it in the butt. I like those girls.

The End.

Wait, I suppose there’s more to it than that. More to this glory (hole) we call anal sex. Sometimes, there’s much more. Don’t believe me, read my classic blog, I Fucked The Internet 1: I Shit You Not. That will give you an entirely different perspective on butt love, and the potential fall out, so to speak. So let’s lube up and slide into this, shall we? (Oh, I think we shall. Squeeeeeeal like a pig.)

First and foremost, let’s leave shit out of this. And by “shit”, I don’t mean that we should leave out certain details of this topic. I literally mean feces. Poo. Poop. Poopy. Poo Poo. Doo Doo. Doody. Turds. Shite. Excrement. Stool. Dung. Crap. Stinkies. And the racially insensitive ’Cosby Kids’. (Besides, we all know the Cosby kids were white and never, not in one episode, did I see them go to the pool). Cuz there is no reason to ruin some hot anal sex with dookie.

I’m an ass man. Some guys like tits, some like legs, some like other guys cock n’ balls, I like ass. But only a specific type of ass. Let me clarify.

I like girl ass!

Nothing against my gay friends out there. By all means, feel free to weigh in on this particular topic with your man-on-man butt loving opinions. I just wanted to clarify that I am no way interested in having anal sex with anyone requiring, or capable of receiving, a reach-around.

Now, within the realm of girl ass, I do like a variety of sizes and styles. I’m not a fan of fat ass, but I do enjoy the look and feel of a phat one. Nice round ones, little ones, bubble butts, tight/muscular asses like those of a gymnast, and more, are all to my liking. And licking. Liking and licking. Lickety like em. Yes, let’s get it out of the way right now. If you have a sweet, beautiful ass, I wouldn’t mind sticking my tongue so far up there that it comes out of your mouth. You might argue that this is dirty, disgusting, and unhygienic, and you’d be correct. I might argue that touching a public hand rail is also dirty, disgusting and unhygienic and I’d be correct. You won’t do the former, I won’t do the latter. To each his own motherfucker.

Note to the ladies: If you’re a young lady (Doubtful I’m gonna lick any old ass) who might enjoy this sort of activity, understand that it’s only going to happen moments after you’re fresh from a bath. Don’t walk in from a thirty mile bike ride and try to tempt me with a sweaty butthole.

I’m getting sidetracked. There are so many asspects of butt love that I can discuss, from caressing, to licking, to spanking…*sigh*. Sweet, sweet ass. How do I love thee. Let me count the ways. However, I came here to talk anal sex. I’ll save those for another time.

What is it about anal sex that makes it so appealing? It’s really a matter of taste, er, opinion. Taste test is a decent judge of vaginal quality, but not anal. If anal has a taste, it is automatically designated poor quality. (I see a vagina/taste blog in my future.) So what are the reasons we love anal? Let’s explore (your ass) the top four.

It’s dirty.
When I say “dirty”, I don’t mean “not clean”. Although I’m sure there are some disgusting sexual deviants who like dirty ass, I am not one of them. When I say “dirty”, I mean “extra naughty”. Even the most conservative of us like things that are “extra naughty”. Prudish as I may seem, every so often I like to *giggle*, take a break from my standard procedure:
Kiss
Touch
Missionary
Ejaculate
Cuddle
and get a little naughtier with:
Kiss
Touch
Have the two girls kiss
Spank the goat
Fuck one of the girls in the ass while the other one tickles my balls
Spank the goat
Have one of the girls ride me while the other sits on my face
Caress lovingly
Watch the girls eat each other out while the goat and I have a snack
Pillow talk
Watch the goat make balloon animals and talk dirty
Alternate fucking the girls in the ass while hi-fiving the other girl
Talk about our plans for the future
Watch one of the girls have sex with the goat
Do jumping jacks
Spank the goat
Ejaculate
Have the girls share it with two straws
Cuddle
I’m sure you’ve all experienced the same urges from time to time. And that’s why we like anal sex. It’s a slight deviation from the normal daily bump n’ grind. It’s “dirty”, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s a sin. (Sins are for pussies! Athiests rule! )
God-fearing folk (aka delusional Southerners), get turned on when they’re committing a sin. Often, there’s a rush from doing things that are considered “taboo” be it our parents, the legal system, or an imaginary diety.
(God, Santa, Easter Bunny, Keebler Elf, Darth Vader, L. Ron Hubbard & Tom)

Most ass rates a dime on my tightness scale
Nothing feels better than a nice, tight dime. Some rear entries even have to be rated in Indian beads. Check the scale.

She can’t get have a baby out of her butt.
Impregnate your fourth nineteen your old stripper and from that day forward it’s all anal, all the time. The fucking postage alone was killing me with all of those child support checks. Granted, I saved a few stamps when I started putting them in one envelope. Lucky coincidence that they all live in the same trailer park. Shasta just passes them out on the fifteenth of each month. FYI- “Garnish your wages” doesn’t mean “Parsley via direct deposit”. Guys, you all know what I mean, right? Right?

Fact of the matter is, sliding into a nice, snug, back door while looking down at the smooth round cheeks surrounding it, is a treat. Not something you need to gorge on every day, but a wonderful addition to the menu (when in season). But everybody likes butt for a different reason.

What’s your reason? Ladies, your opinions are encouraged.