One two,
One two-two three.
I’m taking my ass,
Down to the DMV.
They know it’s dope,
But haters hates.
Cuz I got personalized,
BAF license plates.

Seriously, how gay is this….I ordered vanity plates that say
“BAF ONE”

As if I have MORE than one vehicle. Or like, I’m the President and this is my main Nissan Murano, er, jumbo jet. When Iraq, Iran, North Korea, Cuba and The Bahamas attack us, my security team of barely legal girls will rush me to the tarmac (the alley behind my building), thrust me into my fortress (the back seat which is wildly uncomfortable) and take to the skies (the Pacific Coast Highway). There, I’ll log into my secure communications system (My T-mobile Sidekick) and coordinate my forces (Mike Hustla) against our enemies (every guy who’s gf we ever banged). BAF ONE is fully stocked (1/2 empty bottle of Aquafina and a pack of gum) enabling me to stay airborne (driving) for countless hours (312 miles depending on traffic conditions). So now you know you can rest easy (not care), that you’re safe (you were never in any danger), while I’m protected (wearing a seatbelt) and commanding our forces (sending text messages) from the skies (a parking lot in Malibu).

And you thought personalized plates were lame.