Rarely is there a new toy that I really like to play with, unless she’s 19 years old and has a nice ass. But on occasion, someone invents something that’s NOT a barely legal schoolgirl, and yet it still tickles my fancy (as opposed to my testicles). A few weeks ago, someone turned me on (without Viagra), to my newest obsession. It’s called Pinger.

As you all well know, I never endorse anything other than my blogs, my internet radio show/podcast, my charity work and well, me. I’m asked constantly to get behind products, bands, clubs, etc and so on and such forth. But I always decline with a respectful and polite, “suck my asshole.” More than once that has actually elicited a positive response, but I always tell the dude “no thanks.” When Pinger was introduced to me I really didn’t pay much attention. It was just another email from another stranger asking me to check out their “product.” Because a chick emailed me, I half-heartedly feigned interest cuz, well, it was a chick. But I really didn’t care. In fact, she actually sent me a few Pinger messages that I ignored. Eventually she convinced me to go and check out the website, which I did. It seemed simple enough so I signed up. In order to play with it, I had to have a playmate. So I got my friend Jenna to sign up too. We sat across the room from each other and started testing.

Step 1- Call assigned Pinger number.

Step 2- Say name of person you want to Pinger

Step 3- Wait for verbal confirmation from Pinger robotic voice

Step 4- Leave message after the beep

Step 5- Hang up.

The Pinger recipient receives a text message with a little link in it. They click twice and SHAZAM, your message plays. You just press 1 to message them back. It’s like a text-voicemail. You can also set it so you receive an email alert that you have a new message. Click on that link and it takes you right to your Pinger inbox on their website. You can see all of your messages there, save them, play them on the computer, download them as wav files, whatever.

Look at it like this….you do a lot of texting but sometimes you miscommunicate cuz people don’t get your tone. Or you just have too much to say. Or you’re too drunk to type on those damn tiny buttons. Or you’re driving and can’t type. Or you’re driving drunk and REALLY can’t type. All ya gotta do is Pinger.

And how many times have you said, “I wanna call this person but I hope they don’t pick up so I can just leave a message.”? Well now you can just Pinger them. Say what you want and never actually have to talk to a human. Cuz who the FUCK actually wants to talk to anyone? Not me! I don’t even really like other people.

You can Pinger one friend or 2,000 friends all at the same time. You can create groups like, “Crack Whores” and add all your lady friends to it. Then you can quickly and easily send a mass message to every crack whore in your social circle. It’s very convenient, trust me on that. I know from experience. I mean, how many times have you thought to yourself, “Shit, I’m going to spend the next 2 hours trying to get in touch with all of my crack whores. What a waste of a night”?

Now, I’ve discussed how cool and convenient it is to incorporate Pinger into your personal and/or business life. But you can also incorporate Pinger into your Myspace addiction. How, you ask? Good question kids. Gooood question. You can incorporate your Myspace friends right into your Pinger contact list and leave audio Pinger comments. WHAT? HUH? HOW? WHO? WHY IS BAF SUCH A STUD? Exactly. Directions are on the Pinger website, so I won’t bore you with the details. Oh, I almost forgot. You can also post Myspace BULLETINS via Pinger. So every single person on your friends list can hear your sexy, sultry voice via bulletin. All of this can be done through your cell phone. So you can comment and bulletin from ANYWHERE!

Sitting in traffic?
Let your fake online girlfriend know via comment!

Stuck at the bus stop?
Tell your gangsta wanna be pal in his comments!

Locked in my bedroom closet?
Brag to all your friends via bulletin! They can hear your actual screams!

But the bestest, most funnest feature of all, in my opinion, is this…you can Pinger me. Yes, fuck a comment, fuck an email and fuck a phone call (cuz I’m not giving any of you my fucking number), you can Pinger ME! Trust me, that is GLORIOUS! All you have to do is sign up at Pinger.com (oh, the shit is FREE, fyi), and add me to your contact list using pinger@badassfrank.com. You can send me a Pinger and yes, I will respond. I’ll also add you to BAF’s Daily Pinger and send you the same message I send my real friends, which will likely have something to do with my morning wood or a homeless guy who flung poo at me on the Venice boardwalk. Either way, it’s the best way to start your day. Also, if you’re a fan of The Bad Ass Frank Show (my live internet radio show and podcast) you can send me all sorts of Pingers that I’ll play on the air. You say it, I’ll play it. Trust me, it’s good times all around.

Seriously, this Pinger thing is a new revolution and I’m into it. I was one of the early adopters of Myspace WAY back in the day. I know a good thing when I see it. Pinger is gonna be big, like my ego. So go try it out. It’s free, easy and fun (like my women, only Pinger doesn’t swallow…yet).

When you do, send me a Pinger. I’ll Pinger you right back.

By the way, when you add me to your contact list using pinger@badassfrank.com. Add my boy Mike Hustla as well with his email, pinger@mikehustla.com. Trust me, he’ll message you back too. He’s got nothing better to do with his time. Also, check out his recent Pinger “how to” blog.

WE DID NOT GET PAID TO DO THIS. RIGHT NOW IT’S STRICTLY FOR FUN. (I’m not saying they WON’T pay me, just that they haven’t. ha)