And by “flowers” I mean “19 year old chicks”.

People keep giving me shit about dating younger women. (When I typed the word “women” I started laughing hysterically.) I think they’ve got the wrong idea though. It’s not as if I’m really just dating nineteen year old girls. The ladies I’ve dated that last few years have included the barely legal demographic, but they’ve also included older, more mature women. In fact, my last girlfriend will be twenty-one this coming Sunday. She’ll be old enough to drink…legally! (Let us not belabor the fact that she’s a recovering alcoholic.)

So don’t act like I’m in the midst of some sort of early mid-life crisis. I’ve dated girls who’s age didn’t end in “teen” and my ex-girlfriend is proof (Let us not belabor the fact that she was nineteen when it started.) I’ve also had sex with girls as old as twenty-four. That’s practically cougar status. My only point is, don’t discriminate based on age. I’m not an ageist. It’s one of the primary reasons I give the penis to the teen-us. To show that I don’t look down on them just because they’re young, nubile, horny-as-goats, and more pliable than warm Play-Doh.

Life passes by very quickly. You have to appreciate the time you have left. I’ve learned to appreciate the time I have left where I can bang young chicks. So when you judge me, or act as if I’m making poor decisions, or claim that I’m a dirty old man, I’ll say this…if you’re a guy, don’t be such a fag. If you’re a chick, I’m sorry you’re older. If you’re hot, be patient, I’ll get to you next.

As soon as I’m done with your daughter.

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If you enjoyed this you might wanna check out Young Love, one of my dating blogs.
Also, look for a new excerpt from my upcoming book, Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy, on Monday. Check out
the first two installments HERE.