Bad Ass Frank – True Life Stories, Internet television, Comedy, Satire

Last week, many of you had the privilege of reading the heart crushing list of deal  breakers in my blog, Date This. If you haven’t read that, do so now. Otherwise this list might seem too meager in comparison and I want you to understand all of the reasons you’re not good enough for me.

Bree [...]

I love a nice swell.

Granted, I don’t surf, but what’s that got to do with anything? I still enjoy the ocean. I still enjoy the waves. I still enjoy a girl with a hot ass. I don’t think I should be judged on my lack of surfing ability.
This weekend rocked. After a long week of [...]

A great deal of time and effort (about 4 minutes total) went into developing my list of new year’s resolutions. And after much thinking (napping), consulting with my advisors (I have no advisors), and determining my most important goals (none of these matter), I finally locked in my top to-do’s for 2009.

My issues with young chicks [...]

As I swirl 2008 around in a snifter, raise it to my nose to enjoy the bouquet, then slowly pour it into my mouth and let it tantalize my tastebuds, I think to myself that this was a good year right down to the very end.

Lots of cool shit happened this year but the best, [...]

I love Los Angeles. Ever since I moved here from Maryland, I’ve had a sick life. Well, maybe not the first two years, while I was still married, but since then it’s been a ride unlike anything I could have imagined. I won’t go into great detail, but I’ve banged more chicks than most people [...]

‘Interview with the Vampire’ was awesome. ‘Lost Boys’ is a classic. I wouldn’t see ‘Twilight’ if you paid me. I’d rather see ‘Four Christmases’ and that’s a 2009 holiday rental waiting to happen. ‘Twilight’ look like a fucking episode of ‘One Tree Hill’ with vampires. It’s obviously going to be a huge hit with teenage girls, [...]

Casting reality shows is more fun than retards playing with glue sticks. While many people are crunching numbers, preparing briefs, or performing some other inane task all day, I’m out looking for this:

Kristia from VH1’s Rock of Love
I’ve just started a new gig with my lovely friend, That Leyna Chick. She and I spend our [...]

Sometimes I like to reach out to my readers and see what we have in common. So, in the interest of finding out how similar we are, or aren’t, how many of you shave your balls?

If any of you ladies can answer that question, you’re a dude. If you have balls, you’re a man, regardless [...]

I get a lot of big ideas about things I’m going to do, but I often lose interest in doing those things before I actually do them. Halloween is a prime example. In past years, I’ve gone to Bondage Ball with a group of friends who enjoy the BDSM lifestyle. It’s always a spectacle with [...]

That’s right. I killed it. And I’d do it again if I had to…fucking orange ass motherfucker.
Halloween is a joyful time of year when friends gather together for warm apple cider. The costume clad homos parade down Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood, on their way to a bobbing-for-assholes party. And parents knowingly allow their [...]