Bad Ass Frank – True Life Stories, Internet Radio, Comedy, Satire

This story is not for the faint of heart (or stomach) so be forewarned. It’s gonna get uglier than Rumsfeld and Bin Laden having gay sex in a vat of mayo.
I take you back to 1989 when yes, I was a wee lad of 19. (I’m old motherfuckers, I KNOW that. No need to point [...]

If you read my last blog, Bodybuilding Days Part 2 – Big Legs, you know I started my bodybuilding career by winning the Teenage Mr. Maryland. Understand, however, that I didn’t just wake up one day with huge legs, massive pecs, streaks of fake tan, and horribly half-dyed blonde hair. A great deal of work [...]

Continued from a previous blog. If you haven’t read it, do. It’s the beginning of this story: The Bodybuilding Days Part 1- The Quest for Huge
So I work out for a few weeks at the YMCA. I do not, as I’d hoped, get massively huge. I spend much of my time there fearing Sloth and [...]

Meanwhile, back at the hotel…
We’re finally back in our room, safe and sound. It’s a standard unit with 2 queen beds, a dresser, a tv and a bathroom. The only upgrade is a little dressing area just outside of the bathroom. Not exactly The Ritz, but not exactly a Motel 6 either. So, Sheila and [...]

The girls were standing on the sidewalk when we pulled up. Kev and I were already half smashed on wine coolers, and bloated to Michelin Man size from tacos with finger lickin’ chicken chasers. No matter, it was just about happy hour. Ladies, your Mercury Grand Marquis chariot awaits. Let’s do this thing. So they [...]

Big Kev and I were competetive bodybuilders for many, many years. At our peak, I weighed in at a whopping 230 pounds and Kev tipped the scales at close to 260. This might not seem so amazing unless you take into consideration that neither one of us is very tall. Our time was spent eating, [...]

I graduated high school weighing about 115 pounds. All of it muscle, mind you. But I was still a skinny kid. Being skinny sucks. Especially if you’re short. And I’m short. Not freakishly, midget-ish short, but not tall. No one would ever mistake me for tall. I’m average height in a well heeled pair of [...]