As I swirl 2008 around in a snifter, raise it to my nose to enjoy the bouquet, then slowly pour it into my mouth and let it tantalize my tastebuds, I think to myself that this was a good year right down to the very end.

Lots of cool shit happened this year but the best, by far, was everything surrounding my upcoming book, Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy. After much soul searching (Who am I kidding, I have no soul), I decided to pen a memoir and “tell all” about my time as a manager for pornstars. So I wrote chapter one of the book and cold emailed a bunch of publishers and agents. Within the first two weeks, I got an offer from none other than Kensington Publishing, the same people who published ‘I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell’ a bestseller by famous blogger Tucker Max. That was pretty cool, however I declined their offer as the money wasn’t what I felt I deserved. My ego, my sense of entitlement, and my delusions of grandeur all conspired against accepting anything less than some outrageous sum of cash. I also wanted this dough delivered in an old time suitcase with those metal snaps instead of a zipper, and it had to be lined with the fur of at least two animals listed as endangered species. My money must be kept warm and comfortable when it travels. If a baby white tiger or two has to die, so be it. What are you, some sort of commie? Regardless of your lack of patriotism, I shall publish the book myself and keep the lion’s share (along with the cub pelts) of the money. Like your girlfriend’s vagina, I deserve it.

We also completed v2.0 aka season two of The Bad Ass Frank Show with loads of great guests from reality TV, Playboy magazine, the entertainment world and even a few adult entertainers for dirty, dirty icing on the cake. Next year we’ll launch v3.0 with all new craziness, hot chicks, and pure comedic genius. I will not, however, dance on a stripper pole. That’s just fucking gay.

On top of all that I cast a few reality TV shows, met with tons of major production companies, pitched a few TV show concepts, banged a couple of barely legal girls, and had close to 365 good hair days. You can’t deny the glory of that kind of year.

2009 will see me unleash a lot more blogs, new BAF shows, my book, and possibly even a broadcast TV show. Plus we’ll have a black president. What more can you ask for? So my friends, for 2008, that’s a wrap.

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