Thursday, Dec 24, Afternoon

MY POST:

Subject: Handsome, Charming, Witty…
and available for you to take to the Lakers/Cavs game on Christmas Day.

It’s the holiday season and, in the spirit of giving, I’m attempting to give one lucky lady my time (a priceless gift), assuming that we spend that time watching the Los Angeles Lakers play the Cleveland Cavaliers. And when I say “watch”, I don’t mean “squint from afar”, no sirree bob. I mean up close and personal, in a lower section of the arena, near center court, and not a great distance from the players. In fact, I want to be close enough for at least one drop of sweat from both Kobe and LeBron to potentially land on my forehead where you will dutifully wipe it away like the good woman that you are. I’ll look over and smile with that “aren’t-you-cute” grin of mine that makes women swoon. See, it’s already worth the inordinate sum you’ve paid for the tickets!

If the seats live up to my very high standard, the game may be followed by some form of dining. In good conscience I can’t commit to anything beyond eating because, well, I have to save something for the second date aka next Christmas.

This could be the start of a beautiful and epic love story, a great friendship, or just a way cool basketball game for me to watch. Whatever happens, the important thing to remember is that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of baby Jesus. And by “birth of baby Jesus” I mean “LeBron can dunk like a muthafucka.” So, let’s not delay in bringing joy and happiness to those who are most deserving this holiday season. Me.

Please send pictures, a brief bio, and section/seat numbers. And Ho-ho-hurry up about it.

Replies
The only reply was from a 53 yr old woman who didn’t actually have tickets. Ironically, the Lakers got spanked and I’m glad I didn’t end up going to the game to see their lackluster play. Once again, I’m still single thus proving my theory that chicks are dumb.