When I got divorced, I knew I needed to broaden my horizons when it came to dating and relationships. In an effort not to be narrow minded, I decided I’d meet, and involve myself with, a diverse cross-section of cultural, educational, and intellectual backgrounds. So, after I fucked those two chicks, I found the type of person who would ultimately offer me the most healthy, fulfilling, normal relationship I could ask for—

19 year old girls.

Apparently, dating girls who are slightly younger (than the legal drinking age) is some sort of taboo. I get lectured by almost everyone, from the girls mothers, to women over thirty who are bitter that guys like me are attracted to younger women, to the girls after I break up with them. What’s the big deal? Nothing in this world is more natural than a man (clinging to his youth) and dating women in a slightly less wrinkly demographic. Many people accuse me of having a mid-life crisis but, fact is, people in my family live well into their nineties. I won’t reach mid-life for another ten to fifteen years. So basically for the next decade and a half, I can fuck, er, date, pretty much anyone I want without falling into the crisis category. You can’t argue my irrefutable logic.

Some of my friends have tried to counsel me, asking if I didn’t want a real relationship, with someone who’s more mature, well-balanced, stable. My answer is, of course I do. And as soon as I find a mature, well-balanced, stable, nineteen year old girl, I will have a real relationship. I mean for chrissakes, I’m not retarded. It isn’t as if I’m getting involved with, and committing myself to, emotionally underdeveloped, immature, self-destructive, psychiatrically imbalanced women who are just old enough to vote but not old enough to drink—

Anymore.

This month.

Well I haven’t today.

All I want is true love (and goddamn it I love banging hot, young girls). It’s all anybody really wants in this world. Is my attraction to the slightly less aged of the feminine species so awful? I mean, some guys like big tits, some like red hair, I like girls in pigtails and a school girl uniform.

Who knows, maybe I’m wrong (I’m never wrong). Maybe there’s something to be said for older women or “cougars” (who wants to fuck a cat?). I might very well be missing out on the most interesting (old), beautiful (saggy), and wonderful (bitter) women in the world with this mind set.

So what do you think? (not that I care)

Guys, do you prefer younger— or older?
Soft, smooth, hot, supple, perfect– or mature?
Enthusiastic, adorable, sexy, energetic– or your wife?

Ladies over the hill, um, I mean 30-plus, what’s your side of the story?

Women in their 20’s, how do you fit into the picture?

And you other girls, 18-20, what are your plans this weekeend?

Let’s all put some serious thought into this issue, discuss it, see what we can work out. Because future generations will look to us for guidance, to help them choose the right path, make the best choices, bang the hottest young girls. It’s our duty to lead them (to my place), to educate them (in anal), and ultimately to love them (two at a time), so that they too can experience true happiness and fulfillment in their lives, just like I have.